Augustinus, In Joannis Evangelium tractatus XXXVI-XLV

He was awaiting, not a fated [hour], but a fitting and voluntary one: so that first all things might be fulfilled which had to be fulfilled before His passion. For how was He placed under the necessity of fate, Who said in another place: I have power to lay down My life, and I have power to take it up again: no one takes it from Me, but I Myself lay it down from Me, and I take it up again (John 10:18)? He showed this power when the Jews were seeking Him. Whom do you seek? He said. And they: Jesus. And He: I am He. When that voice was heard, they went backwards and fell (John 18:4–6).

10. Someone says: If this power was in Him, why, when the Jews mocked Him as He hung and said, If He is the Son of God, let Him come down from the cross (Matt. 27:40), did He not come down, so as to show them His power by coming down? Because He was teaching patience, therefore He deferred power. For if He had come down as though stirred by their words, He would have been thought overcome by the pain of their taunts. He did not come down at all; He remained fixed, intending to depart when He willed. For what great thing was it for Him to come down from the cross, Who was able to rise again from the tomb? Let us then, to whom this has been ministered, understand that the power of our Lord Jesus Christ was hidden then, and will be manifest in the judgement: of which it was said, God will come manifest, our God, and He will not keep silent (Ps. 49:3). What is, He will come manifest? Because He came hidden, our God will come manifest, that is, Christ. And He will not keep silent: what is, He will not keep silent? Because at first He kept silent. Where did He keep silent? When He was judged; so that this too might be fulfilled, which the prophet had also foretold, As a sheep He was led to be sacrificed, and as a lamb before its shearer without a voice, so He did not open His mouth (Isa. 53:7). If, then, He had not willed to suffer, He would not have suffered; if He had not suffered, that blood would not have been shed; if that blood had not been shed, the world would not have been redeemed. Let us therefore give thanks both to the power of His divinity and to the compassion of His weakness: both for the hidden power which the Jews did not know, whence it was said to them just now, You know neither Me nor My Father; and for the flesh He took up, which the Jews did know, and whose homeland they knew; whence He said to them in another place, You both know Me, and you know whence I am (John 7:28). Let us know both in Christ: both whereby He is equal to the Father, and whereby the Father is greater than He. The one is the Word, the other flesh; the one is God, the other man: but Christ is one, God and man.

Tractate 38.

From what is written, Jesus therefore said to them: I go, and you will seek Me; as far as this, Jesus said to them: The Beginning, Who also speak to you. Chapter 8, verses 21-25.

1. The reading of the holy Gospel which preceded today's had concluded thus: that the Lord spoke, teaching in the treasury, what He willed, and what you have heard: and no one seized Him, because His hour had not yet come (John 8:20). On this a discourse was given on the Lord's day, as He Himself deigned to grant. We made known to your Charity why it was said, His hour had not yet come

His; so that no impiety should dare wickedly to suspect that Christ was placed under any fatal necessity. For the hour had not yet come in which, in its own order, according to the things that were foretold of Him, He would not be compelled to die unwilling, but would be slain ready.

2. But now concerning His very passion, which was placed not in His necessity but in His power, He spoke to the Jews, saying: I go. For to Christ the Lord death was a departure to that place whence He had come, and whence He had not withdrawn. I go, He says, and you will seek Me: not with longing, but with hatred. For after He withdrew from the eyes of men, both those who hated Him and those who loved Him sought Him: the former by persecuting, the latter by desiring to have Him. In the Psalms the Lord Himself says through the prophet, Flight has perished from Me, and there is none who seeks after My soul (Ps. 141:5); and again He says in another place in a Psalm, Let them be confounded and put to shame who seek after My soul (Ps. 39:15). He blamed those who did not seek, He condemned those who sought. For it is evil not to seek the soul of Christ, but in the way the disciples sought it; and it is evil to seek the soul of Christ, but in the way the Jews sought it: for the former sought in order to have, the latter in order to destroy. In short, since these were seeking in such a way, with evil manner, with perverse heart, what did He add next? You will seek Me, and, lest you think that you will seek Me well, you will die in your sin. This is to seek Christ ill, to die in one's sin: this is to hate Him through Whom alone one could be saved. For whereas men whose hope is in God ought not to render evil even for evil, these were rendering evil for good. The Lord therefore foretold to them, and foreknowing pronounced the sentence, that they would die in their sin. Then He adds: Whither I go, you cannot come. This He said to the disciples also in another place; and yet He did not say to them, You will die in your sin. But what did He say? What He said to these too: Whither I go, you cannot come (John 13:33). He did not take away hope, but foretold delay. For when the Lord was saying this to the disciples, at that time they could not come whither He was going, but afterwards they were going to come: but these never, to whom foreknowing He said, You will die in your sin.

3. Now when these words were heard, as those are wont to do who think fleshly things, and judge according to the flesh, and hear and savour everything carnally, they said: Will He kill Himself, since He said, Whither I go, you cannot come? Foolish words, and altogether full of senselessness. For what? Could they not come thither whither He had gone, if He killed Himself? Were they themselves not going to die? What then is, Will He kill Himself, since He said, Whither I go, you cannot come? If He were speaking of the death of man, what man does not die? Therefore He said whither I go, not when one goes to death, but whither He Himself was going after death. They, then, not understanding, made this reply.

4. And what does the Lord say to those who savoured the earth? And He said to them: You are from beneath. Therefore you savour the earth, because like serpents you eat earth. What

is it, that you eat earth? You are fed on earthly things, you delight in earthly things, you gape after earthly things, you do not have the heart lifted up. You are from beneath: I am from above. You are of this world: I am not of this world. For how was He of the world, through Whom the world was made? All are of the world after the world; for first the world, and so man of the world: but first Christ, then the world; since before the world was Christ, before Christ nothing: for in the beginning was the Word; all things were made through Him (John 1:1, 3). Thus, then, was He from above. From what things above? From the air? Far from it: there the birds also fly. From the sky which we see? Far from it as well; there the stars and the sun and the moon go round. From the angels? Do not understand this either: through Him the angels too were made, through Whom all things were made. From what things above, then, is Christ? From the Father Himself. Nothing is higher than that God, Who begot the Word equal to Himself, co-eternal with Himself, only-begotten, without time, through Whom He might found times. Thus, then, take Christ as from above, so that in your thought you go beyond all that has been made; the whole of creation altogether, every body, every created spirit, every thing in any way changeable: go beyond the whole, as John went beyond, so that he might attain to: In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

5. I, then, He says, am from above. You are of this world: I am not of this world. I said therefore to you that you will die in your sins. He has explained to us, brethren, what He wished to be understood by You are of this world. For He said You are of this world for this reason, that they were sinners, that they were wicked, that they were unbelieving, that they savoured earthly things. For what do you think of the holy Apostles? How great a difference was there between the Jews and the Apostles? As great as between darkness and light, as great as between faith and unbelief, as great as between piety and impiety, as great as between hope and despair, as great as between charity and cupidity: there was therefore a great difference. What then? Because there was so great a difference, were the Apostles not of the world? If you consider how they were born, and whence they came, since all had come from Adam, they were of this world. But what does the Lord Himself say to them? I have chosen you out of the world (John 15:19). Those, then, who were of the world were made not of the world, and began to belong to Him through Whom the world was made. But these remained of the world, to whom it was said, You will die in your sins.

6. Let no one, then, say, brethren, I am not of this world. Whoever you are, O man, you are of this world: but He Who made the world has come to you, and has freed you from this world. If the world [mundus] delights you, you wish always to be unclean [immundus]; but if this world no longer delights you, you are now clean [mundus]. Nevertheless, if through some weakness the world still delights you, let Him Who cleanses dwell in you, and you will be clean. But if you have been made clean, you will not remain in the world; nor will you hear what the Jews heard, You will die in your sins. For we were all born with sin; all of us, by living, to that with which we had been born

we added, and we became more of the world than we were then, when we were born of our parents. And where would we be, if He had not come Who had no sin at all, to loose all sin? Because the Jews did not believe in Him, they deservedly heard, You will die in your sins: because you could in no way be without sin, you who were born with sin; but nevertheless, He says, if you believe in Me, you were indeed born with sin, but you will not die in your sin. So the whole misfortune of the Jews was this: not to have sin, but to die in sins. This is what every Christian ought to flee: for this reason people run to Baptism; for this reason those who are in danger through sickness or from some other cause desire to be helped; for this reason too the suckling infant is carried by its mother in pious hands to the Church, lest it depart without Baptism and die in the sin in which it was born. Most unhappy the condition, wretched the lot of those who heard from the truthful mouth, In your sins you will die.

7. Yet whence this befalls them, He explains: For if you do not believe that I am, you will die in your sins. I believe, brothers, that in that multitude which was listening to the Lord there were also those who were going to believe. But it was as though that most severe sentence had gone forth against all, In your sin you will die; and by this, hope had been taken away even from those who were going to believe: those were raging, these were afraid; nay rather, they were not afraid, but were already in despair. He called them back to hope; for He added, If you do not believe that I am, you will die in your sins. Therefore if you believe that I am, you will not die in your sins. Hope was given back to the despairing, an awakening was made for the sleeping, they woke up in their hearts: from then on very many believed, as the sequel of the Gospel itself testifies. For there were members of Christ there, who had not yet clung to the body of Christ: and in that people by whom He was crucified, by whom He was hung on the tree, by whom He was mocked as He hung, by whom He was wounded with the lance, by whom He was given gall and vinegar to drink, there were members of Christ, for whom He said, Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do. But what is not forgiven to one who is converted, if the shed blood of Christ is forgiven? What murderer should despair, if he was restored to hope by whom even Christ was slain? Many believed from then on; the blood of Christ was given to them, so that they might rather drink it, by which they would be set free, than be held guilty of having shed it: who should despair? And if the robber on the cross was saved, a little before a murderer, a little after accused, convicted, condemned, hung, set free; do not wonder. Where convicted, there condemned: but there set free, where changed (Luke 23:34–43). In this people, then, to whom the Lord was speaking, there were those who were going to die in their sin: there were also those who were going to believe in Him Who was speaking, and to be set free from all sin.

8. Yet pay attention to this which the Lord Christ says: If you do not believe that I am, you will die in your sins. What is, If you do not believe that I am? I am, what? He added nothing; and because He added nothing, what He commended is great. For it was expected

that He would say what He was, and yet He did not say it. What was it expected that He would say? Perhaps, Unless you believe that I am the Christ; unless you believe that I am the Son of God; unless you believe that I am the Word of the Father; unless you believe that I am the founder of the world; unless you believe that I am the former and re-former of man, the creator and re-creator, the maker and re-maker: unless you believe this, that I am, you will die in your sins. It is a great thing that He says just this, I am: for so God had also said to Moses, I am Who am. Who could worthily express what "am" is? God was sending His servant Moses through His angel to set His people free from Egypt (you have read what you have heard, and you know it; yet I recall it): He was sending him trembling; making excuses, but obedient. When therefore he was making excuses, he said to God, Whom he understood to be speaking in the angel: If the people say to me, And who is the God Who sent you, what shall I say to them? And the Lord to him, I am Who am: and He repeated, You shall say to the children of Israel, He Who is has sent me to you. Not even there does He say, I am God; or, I am the fashioner of the world; or, I am the creator of all things; or, I am the propagator of this very people that is to be set free: but only this, I am Who am; and, You shall say to the children of Israel, He Who is; He did not add, He Who is your God, Who is the God of your fathers, but He said only this, He Who is has sent me to you. Perhaps it was a great thing even for Moses himself, as it is a great thing for us too, and much more so for us, to understand what was meant by I am Who am; and, He Who is has sent me to you. And even if Moses perhaps grasped it, when would those to whom he was being sent grasp it? So the Lord put off what man could not grasp, and added what he could grasp: for He went on and said, I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob (Exod. 3:13–15). This you can grasp: for I am Who am, what mind can grasp?

9. What then of us? Shall we dare to say anything from what was said, I am Who am: or rather from what you have heard the Lord say, Unless you believe that I am, you will die in your sins? Shall I, with these strengths of mine, so slight and almost nothing, dare to discuss what it is that the Lord Christ says, Unless you believe that I am? I will dare to question the Lord Himself: hear me questioning rather than discussing, seeking rather than presuming, learning rather than teaching, and assuredly you too, in me or through me, ask questions. The Lord Himself also is present, Who is everywhere; may He hear the desire of the questioning, and grant the effect of understanding. For with what words, even if perhaps I grasp something, can I convey what I grasp to your hearts? What sound is sufficient? What eloquence is at hand? What powers of understanding? What capacity of bringing it forth?

10. I will speak, then, to our Lord Jesus Christ, I will speak, and may He hear me. I believe Him present, I do not doubt it at all; for He Himself said, Behold, I am with you even to the consummation of the age (Matt. 28:20) O Lord

our God, what is it that Thou saidst, Unless you believe that I am? For which of the things that Thou madest is not? Is heaven not? Is the earth not? Are the things that are on earth and in heaven not? Is man himself, to whom Thou speakest, not? Is the angel whom Thou sendest not? If all these things are, which were made through Thee, what is it that Thou keptest as something proper to Thyself, being itself, which Thou didst not give to others, so that Thou alone shouldst be? For how do I hear, I am who am, as though other things are not? And how do I hear, Unless you believe that I am? For were they not, who were listening? And if they were sinners, they were men. What then am I to do? What being itself is, let Him say to the heart, let Him say it within, let Him speak within; let the inner man hear, let the mind grasp true being: for it is to be always in the same mode. (For a thing, any thing whatever: as it were, I began to argue and I left off inquiring; perhaps what I have heard I wish to speak; may He give joy to my hearing, and to yours when I speak): for any thing whatever, of whatever excellence at all, if it is mutable, does not truly exist; for there is no true being there where there is also not-being. For whatever can be changed, once changed is not what it was: if it is not what it was, a kind of death has taken place there; something that was there has been destroyed, and is not. Blackness has died in the head of an old man growing white, beauty has died in the body of a weary and bent old man, strength has died in the body of one languishing, standing has died in the body of one walking, walking has died in the body of one standing, walking and standing have died in the body of one lying down, speech has died in the tongue of one silent: whatever is changed and is what it was not, I see there a kind of life in that which it is, and death in that which it was. Finally, when it is said of a dead man, Where is that man? the answer is, He was. O Truth, Who truly art! For in all our actions and movements, and in absolutely every agitation of the creature, I find two times, past and future. I seek the present: nothing stands still: what I have said is no longer; what I am going to say is not yet: what I have done is no longer; what I am going to do is not yet: what I have lived is no longer; what I am going to live is not yet. Past and future I find in every movement of things: in the truth that abides I do not find past and future, but only present, and this incorruptibly, which is not so in the creature. Examine the changes of things, you will find Was and Will be: think on God, you will find Is, where Was and Will be cannot be. So then, that you too may be, transcend time. But who will transcend it by his own strength? Let Him lift [us] up there Who said to the Father, I will that where I am, they also may be with Me. Promising this, therefore, that we should not die in our sins, the Lord Jesus Christ seems to me to have said nothing else by these words, Unless you believe that I am: absolutely nothing else does He seem to me to have said by these words than this, Unless you believe that I am God, you will die in your sins. Good, thanks be to God, that He said, Unless you believe: He did not say, Unless you grasp. For who could grasp this? Or truly, because I have dared to say, and you have seemed to understand, something concerning such ineffability